are you my mother?

first, i'm going to apologize for the bad picture above... we have this book around our house somewhere (i've read it at least 1,000 times!) - but i couldn't find it tonight... so thanks Amazon for the image :)

For those of you who have not read this book it basically goes like this (summary taken from http://www.preschooleducation.com/br82.shtml:)

A mother bird is sitting on her egg in her nest. Suddenly the egg jumps, and mother bird realizes that her baby is about to break out of its egg and will be hungry. Away she flies for food. While the mother bird is gone, the baby bird comes out of its shell. The first thing he says is, "Where is my mother?" He starts looking for her but doesn’t see her in the nest. The baby bird wants to find his mother, but forgets that he can’t fly. He falls down, way down out the nest. He starts to walk to find his mother. He doesn’t know what his mother looks like, so he walks right by her. He comes upon a kitten, a hen, a dog, and a cow. The baby bird asks all of them the same question, "Are you my mother?" They all reply no. Before he continues his search, he stops to wonder if he really does have a mother. He is positive he does, so he goes on. Next he comes upon other things, an old car, a boat, and a plane and asks if any of them could be his mother. He gets no reply, so on he goes. The last thing he meets up with, is a great big excavator. He is so sure this is his mother. Finally he has found her! He runs excitedly up to it, climbs on and says, "Mother Mother, here I am mother!" The excavator says to the bird, "SNORT". Quickly the baby bird realizes he has made a mistake. This is definitely not his mother. The excavator begins to move and the baby bird is in big trouble now. He cries out, "I want to go home, I want my mother!" The excavator puts the baby bird gently back in his nest and his mother comes home. She asks him if he knows who she is. After the baby bird tells his mother of all the adventures he had looking for her, he says, "You are bird, and you are my mother."

Now you are probably wondering... why i'm referencing this book..... well, today marks our 6 month here in Holland. Somedays I feel like I am this bird flying around.... looking for my mother... not necessarily my "actual mother"... i know where she is :) I am referring to my "mother" as in my home... or my "mother country". As I'm biking around town or running through the forest, I have been thinking about this a lot lately. What or Where do I call home? Is home where my van (often referred to as "the bus" here in Holland) is parked ? Where I sleep at night? Where I grew up (I lived a lot of places)? Where my family lives? Where I know how to speak the language (sprecht u engels? - I know that phrase very well!)? Where I know how to read what the signs are telling me (is this road really closed or just 1 way!)? Where I can buy my "favorite" foods (ok... the peanut butter here is not really that bad... )?

I feel like I am this baby bird that has left my nest... trying to find my way... asking questions along the way. Not only the type of questions... like where is the nearest supermarket? but Where is my life going? What am I doing here? Where will I go next? Do I really have 4 kids (ok - the kids question has nothing to do with moving to the Netherlands)?

I have so many thoughts in my head... I'm not good at writing them down... but to sum things up - in the last 6 months we've gone

from:

*arriving with a 4-week old baby.... enough said there!
*getting COMPLETELY lost without a TomTom (even the kids will make comments to me now like "Hey Mom - you didn't need your TomTom to get us to school today... or to swim lessons!)
*waiting for Ross to bring home a mop after work so that I could scrub the floors that were making our socks black
*trying to figure out the navigation techniques of a ROUNDABOUT and yielding to the driver on the right when you come to an intersection (I'm STILL trying to figure this one out!)
*very sore legs from biking the kids around

to:
*my kids speaking a little bit of Dutch.... I am so amazed that the kids have really embraced the language and culture... not bothered at all with swimming lessons, dance lessons, and soccer practice all spoken in Dutch
*ME ordering bread and meat in my best attempt at Dutch
*finally learning some of the side streets and shops around town by bike and learning where I can park and navigate my big "bus" (... it's not a mini-van over here.... it's more like a mega-van!)
*4 week old baby is now 7 months old!
*seeing so many beautiful sites in Holland and even a few other surrounding countries

..... someday I will be put back in my NEST... I'm just not sure when or where :)