deep thoughts

i've been thinking about this post for a while......how i want to formalize my thoughts and express them.... i'm not really a deep thoughts kind of person - what you see it what you get with me....my friends in Holland nicknamed me supermum....i like to think i'm more of a Clark Kent but lately i've been feeling like i left my cape in Holland.....i'm having a hard time adjusting to life in Sturgis, MI..... there's not much "life" in Sturgis to be honest.... there's a Wal-mart...... and well, that's about it.....honestly one can only take so much of "wal-mart" if you know what i mean. i can't help but think of the cold and snowy winter that we have ahead of us..... it's dark by 5:30pm.....my complaints could go on....

last weekend we drove to kenosha to clean up our house and get it ready for sale. little did i know this task would be very difficult for me. as i steam cleaned the carpets i think i put more tears back into the carpeting. as i pushed the steam cleaner back and forth over the carpet - the memories of each room came flooding back to me..... the green room where we brought 3 of our 4 babies home to.... the many sleepless nights i trudged back and forth from this room to our room .....the blue room where graham slept in his toddler bed for the first time and opened his FIRST birthday presents on the floor next to the window..... the front door where we welcomed many of our family and friends.... and the living room where the kids each learned to walk (well except for jillian)... the tile floor where many, many, many crumbs fell from the table.

after being gone from the house for almost 2 years - i quickly realized it wasn't just a house.... it was a place of memories and a place where our family made friends. seeing it empty was very difficult for me..... i have often used the phrases "home is where your family is... as long as you have them close.... things will be ok".... but that wasn't the case for me last Saturday... 2 of my neighbors stopped by and i had all i could do to hold back my tears.... it was hard for me to see them in my house.... knowing i would not be back in that house again.

all this week i pondered this post...... complained to Ross (many times) about how much I hate Sturgis and my struggles of feeling like a stranger in my own land..... i read a facebook post from a person i went to high school with - his daughter was born with a terminal illness - they only had a few months with her.... it was at this exact moment that i decided my attitude needed to change - i needed to pull myself up by the bootstraps.... and stop complaining! i am going to make the best of my situation----the boys love their school ... helen enjoys her dance and swimming lessons.... counting the Amish horse and buggies in the Wal-mart parking lot.... getting nipped in the butt by a crazy farm dog makes life exiciting, right.....it's not an ideal location but it is what it is...... i have a nice, warm home, a car that will get me to the places i "need" to go, a healthy family, and friends who keep in touch with me where ever i may be! i'm a lucky girl !

and a little humor to end this deep thouhts post! Jillian will hate me later for posting this picture..... she is showing some interest in potty training and i couldn't be more excited!!

funny stuff

jayden has been writing some stories at school and brings them home to share with the family.... some of them are pretty hilarious....one story was about a car that went to the gas station to get gas but somehow got distracted and never got gas..... pretty random thoughts but funny to read!

the tooth fairy is about to be fired! she can't seem to remember to leave money for the kids in this house - maybe she just has a lot on her plate! not sure whether to leave euros, dollars, or british pounds :) - i had to cover for her last monday morning by slipping 2 quarters under the sheets at the bottom of jayden's bed while he looked under his empty pillow! this is not the first time either - ugh!

mama's got a new set of wheels! i am proud to say i no longer drive a mini-van.... but i really do miss my bike from Holland!
i have decided to supplement Helen's preschool learning with a homeschool program in the afternoon while jillian naps. We survived week 1 - helen is learning her letters/numbers/etc and well let's just say i am learning to have a LOT of patience :) it's good for both of us :)

thank goodness for pre-assembled crafts! especially when the only supplies we have are tape and scissors :) ...... hopefully our air and sea shipments will arrive soon with our goodies we had in Holland.

calendar time and our own circle time to learn colors, numbers, and letters.

Helen's preschool made stone soup and gave the parents a special Thanksgiving cookbook..... i am typing a few entries below..... they are hilarous..... if you are drinking something right now - put it down - you will spray the computer :)

"with corn, we just put it in the microwave for 12 hours. then we put it on our plate. then we just scoop it up and eat it"

"stuffing - you take milk, butter and get crunch and bread and that's all you put in the bowl. then you put it in a pan. you put it in the oven. then you take a smell. we let it et warm for 5 hours. then we eat it."

"mashed potatoes - my mom has potatoes and peels the brown thing off then mashes it lots. then she cooks it in the oven really hot, so i have to blow on it. about 20 minutes. then i set the table and my mom brings the food out. then she smashes the potatoes like a lake and puts the gravy on. before we eat my dad reads something like a newspaper"

and helen's entry:

"first you put sugar on the potatoes. then put spaghetti on it. put ketchup and mustard on top. then salad. cook it on top of the stove at spaghetti temperature. cook it for very long. then it's all done."

jillian joins in the stone soup party too at Helen's school! jillian will start going to her own school next Monday for 3 mornings a week!

helen says she is thankful for swimming, monsters, and jillian

Quantum Leap

Helen catches the first snowflakes of the season on her tongue

watching the first snowfall from inside

sisters snuggling

helen staying busy

family picnic in kalamazoo, michigan

jayden makes the sturgis swim team!

graham makes the team too!

nothing says jet lag like opening up Einstein bagels at 5am in Evanston, IL.... we've been up for almost 2 hours already!

alice millar chapel in evanston - where we got married 10 years ago

10 years ago - i never would have guessed we would have 4 beautiful children sitting in front of this chapel :)

i think the final luggage count was 17 pieces! finally landed in the USA!

nothing more entertaining to a 20 month old than a pair of sunglasses and a windowshade on a 9 hour flight

our last supper in Amsterdam - Hard Rock Cafe - 10pm at night!

yes- i'm tired! but it was my idea to eat here

saying goodbye to our car!

saying goodbye to our gardener :(

helen and miss sara (her teacher)

all of our suitacases hidden in the bathroom so they didn't accidentally get loaded on the moving truck

jillian naps in her room for the last time in Holland :( still can't believe she was just a few weeks old when we arrived

eating lunch on the kitchen counter - because her highchair was packed!

jayden shows me his work during an open house at school

graham working on a math problem in Holland

i've been trying to think of how i would describe the way i've been feeling since leaving Holland.... remember that show Quantum Leap? - that pretty much sums it up :) i'm somewhere in between where i came from and where i'm going :) .......